So, real talk: working within teams is very difficult for me. Yup, I said it.
It absolutely has nothing to do with others. Simply put, within my head exist deadlines, administrative minutiae, and creative ideas that have no ceiling. It can get pretty wild in there! Funny thing is, it is by working with and leading a team that I am learning my strengths, weaknesses, fears, triumphs, and more. It is by facing the parts of myself that are difficult to live with, and by having a team to support me, that I am able to grow, heal, and soar. Over and over again. I am expanding!
I am an artist, an intellect, and an organizer of transformative spaces, and I also happen to live with depression, anxiety, and have mastered the class of self-criticism and judgment with perfect scores! Imposter syndrome? Yes, of course, this is absolutely a part of the cocktail!!! So, what is it that keeps me alive, focused, clear? What is it that moves when I cannot? What is it that challenges the aspects of myself that seek perfection, approval, or that become self-righteous in my pursuit of a fuller life? What keeps me in check, loves me, builds me, and catapults me?
Remember that thing I said I didn't like to work within?
TEAM. TEAM. TEAM.
The thing about Speaking Down Barriers is that while it does its work in the world, it also does its work within me and each one of our team members. I praise #SDBSquad for their commitment, their courage, and for sharing their gifts with me and the world.
You speak down barriers in my life. Forever, I thank you.
P.S. And my girlfriend & family are on a whole other level of support, ego-checking, and safe harbors. I shall "Be humble. Sit down." Love to my "yes and no" folk, telling me the truth to grow me.
for many of us, we will risk at times large amounts of self, financial security, sleep, and even food at the belief that we are here to help. we believe that we are to heal in the space we have been given.
for some of us, we will learn balance and understand that we do no good when we are not healthy, taken care of, and well. we will involve ourselves in the learning of balance in caring for self and caring for others. we will learn that no idea is truly our own and that an idea means nothing without the guts to see it through.
for others, they will become focused on who is receiving attention, accolades, or applause rather than the work that has been and is being done. they will create another of "something" that already exists rather than lending their hands, brain, and resources to the current existence. they will focus on how to market their cause, themselves, and their beliefs.
it is for this person that I am saddened.